1. Make him wear gym clothes form the lost in found on the girl’s locker room.
2. Sudden Death: take away his body guards and let loose preppy fan girls
3. Make him carry around a purse with a poodle in it
4. Put him in a closet with 10 gay guys
5. Trap him in a television set
6. Tell him to take a shower while blow drying his “gorgeous” hair
7. Tell him McDonalds makes him loose weight
8. Tell him that there isn’t water on the road during rain and he can sleep on the road without getting wet
9. Give him kryptonite
10. Tell
him to hold it because there are no bathrooms at the porta-potty mart
11. Tell
him to eat a sock (he will choke on it)
12. Tell
him to walk under a large display of low-fat soup while you knock it over
13. Give
him a particularly nasty paper cut
14. Have
him get eaten by an atomic toilet
15. Tell
him to eat pop rocks while drinking soda (True Fact: your stomach will explode)
16. Tripping over a shoelace and onto
the tracks of a moving train while wearing a pair of Velcro sneakers
17. Wear
a tie over an operating blender
18. Tell
him to hug a teddy bear ( a live one)
19. Throw
Legos at him
20. Make
him eat cafeteria food
21. Sit
him through health class for one week (he is sure to die)
22. Give
him a poisoned chocolate kiss
23. Tell
him that he is special and because he is so special he gets to wear a special white jacket and live in room with padded walls.
24. Make
him call all teachers by their first name
25. Tell
him not to wear a helmet while riding a motorcycle on a crash course because it will mess up his hair
26. Shut
him in a locker and tell him that the only way our it to push the shiny red button (there is no button)
27. Make
him live on Apollo’s Chariot
28. Make
him sing soprano 1 in chorus class
29. Stand
next to him and sing “Jimmy Crack Corn” 50 times
30. Tell
him that laxatives make hair shiny
31. Make
him eat soy sauce on brussel sprouts
32. Have
a mountain goat with horns chase him down a cliff
33. Get
run over by a school bus
34. Blast
“Stop in the name of love” in his ear with a very loud ipod
35. Give
him 50 million Twinkies and make him eat them. Therefore he will become fat
36. Make
him wear an itsy bitsy teeny weenie yellow polka dot bikini
37. Make
him sit on 66 in rush hour traffic everyday for the rest of his life
38. Make
him eat with mutated chop sticks forever (he will starve)
39. Make
him actually fight the bad guys on POTC and LOTR
40. Put
him in a nursing home with old people and make him play shuffle board with them
41. Give
him a venomous black mamba as a pet
42. Expose
him to gay waiters at every restaurant he ever visits
43. Give
him braces and make him wear “Fat Joes” (The fattest of fat Canadian rubber bands)
44. Use
a cheese grater to grate his face.
45. Tell
him that cork grease for a clarinet is chap stick
46. Put
his long gorgeous (not!) hair in a food processor (the key is to cut it all off while he is sleeping)
47. Trap
him in a tanning bed (he will be fried)
48. Make
him live in a bush
49. Make
him sit on a whoopee cushion on live TV
50. Tell
him his future: A custodian who cleans the porta-potties at the state fair
51. drown
him in cheese
52. make
him commit suicide (the key to this is to tell him that he is ugly)
53. drop
a piano on his head
54. have
him chased by a hyperactive ferret
55. shoot
him with a BB gun
56. have
him fall off a cliff and have the vultures pick at him
57. hang
him on a tree and tickle him
58. sing
“I’m a little teapot” badly and often
59. cover
him in soda and have a giant flamingo chase him
60. whack
him repeatedly with an extremely heavy binder
61. put
him in Spanish class for a year
62. “play”
with power tools around him
63. have
a giant pig eat him
64. make
him eat his own cooking
65. dig
a hole in sand and stick him in
66. tell
him he lost all of his money
67. put
him in shark infested waters
68. have
a turkey chase and/or eat him
69. make
him wear a pink polka dotted dress
70. make
him stare at his own picture for 3 entire day
71. put
him on a desert island with nobody around but rabid fan girls
72. put
on a puppet show and portray him horribly
73. spread
a rumor that he died
74. shave
his head
75. make
him play the banjo in a chicken suit
76. make
him eat green bean casserole with cream of mushroom sauce
77. tell
him he is the worst archer in the world
78. put
on a long blond wig and mock his role in LOTR
79. push
him off a building
80. make
him dance (especially the chicken dance)
81. trap
him in a room with 100,000 cockroaches
82. dump
an large amount of trash on his head (make it extra filthy)
83. sell
him broken stuff off of eBay for high prices
84. sack
him from his job (he’d be better as a sanitation engineer anyway)
85. poison
his food
86. stick
him in piranha infested waters
87. plane
or car crash
88. stick
him in the eye with an abnormally large pencil
89. make
him eat zios pizza (zios is the worst restaurant ever!)
90. feed
him liver or brussel sprouts
91. make
an Orlando Bloom bashing site
92. sue
him until he’s broke
93. have
the people in white lab coats take him away and do experiments on him
94. nuclear
bomb
95. send
him to Pluto without a spacesuit or ship
96. hang
him from a tree and bat him with a piņata
97. make
him suffer through math class (he must have failed before if he’s an actor)
98. show
him this paper
99. make
him clean out my binder
100.
perform genetic experiments on him so he at least looks somewhat normal
